VOICE OF WORLD

A very familiar face smiled at me as I walked with my friends in our campus. I tried to recollect…..somewhere I have seen her….the girl who beamed at me; well fortunately Satabhusha made the first move and approached to me,” You are from NN , right ?” “Aha…..!! My junior from my school, Nava Nalanda…….” I replied her in glee;
“Satabhusha ……our trip to Voice of World ….” ,my voice reflected my excitement.
”Atreyi di….” ,exclaimed the girl and the next few moments flew by warm hugs and memories of the “THE DAY..” 19th of August,2008.


We had to part soon with promises of further meetings but our conversation, the day that has been left behind troubled my mind…..brought alive certain things or rather dreams withered away like the rose petals in hot summer; taking a sip of the hot black coffee I threw myself upon the chair….as my eyes flipped through the pages of Morrison’s Jazz, my mind was traveling somewhere else; realizing I have not read a single page in half an hour ….. and all I was doing was sipping off my coffee and with each sip saw flashes of old memories with the aroma of strong coffee bringing them back to life, I decided to put down the book; it was pretty late in the evening; seeing there can be no way my parents would let me go to the roof alone, I confined myself in my room as the sweet soft songs, some with a classical tone filled up the air of my room; my big teddy bear Rosaina had occupied major part of the bed; I managed a seat in front of the window and gazing at the twinkling stars and the trees….. I decided to pay heed to the chaos that created turmoil in my mind.

Satabhusha had changed a lot….its been 2 yrs; she was a year junior to me; since my school days I have been in good books of our teachers…timid ,out-worldly ,gentle and polite; my Secondary Level was the toughest time;death of my ‘jyatha ‘ ,who used to be my closest person,my best friend and guide and my extreme unwillingness to study science made me more and more dreamer…..I craved for a way to get out of that stagnant situation….my lips were weak to speak and tears in my eyes came as melted waters from my frozen heart; the year was 2008…. The year when our school completed its 40 yrs;as a part of its extravagant celebration, groups were send with donations to different foundations and I am still thankful to the teachers for choosing me among those fortunate students who got the honor of accompanying the teachers to the organizations; bearing the NN Flag I reached our main building followed by the long crowd of students; from there we got divided into groups and our group made way to Voice of World, an organization for blind children; comfortable I was, I could not help being a chatterbox and so was my companion , Satabhusha; but meeting this little friend after 2 years made me realize now the marks left by passing time over us; the two chatterboxes with full of excitement and enthusiasm had changed when they met at university campus; feminine nature graced Satabhusha ’s face while experience suppressed my enthusiastic character; time seemed to change everything……
“Are you still keeping in touch with Voice Of World ?” , I had asked Satabhusha to which she gave a positive answer ;I kept on wandering;it was not possible for me to do anything as a student;how can a girl from conservative Hindu family go around doing social work the whole day;I had been into that stuff;after school I did think of social work, and even went to slums when I was into it …..may be the 1st initiative of quitting it was taken by my parents but thanks to my close friends I realized it was for my own good; one of my closest friends had commented , “ a girl can easily get things done but her exposure to the world brings in other problems too “. I knew my friend was right….but helping the blind children was a lot different from the normal social work which included taking care of poor children,helping in treatments like thelasemia and all;the blind children…… I shivered thinking of them;my readers who are scared of darkness can understand what a feeling it is when one is left in a dark room without any access to light;once upon a time, a poet had remarked, “ a thing of beauty is a joy forever !! “ ; but what happens when one cannot see that thing of beauty!! What happens when one cannot see this light!! The poor children for whom I had once worked were much more blessed than my friends of Voice Of world; people put a lot of money , starting from businessmen to actors, directors, players…….. they all try helping out the poor children; I do have seen organizations for blind people but somewhere I felt there was more to be done for them; donating money can simply make them live….. it cannot give them life.

“ you have so many dreams for Mamoni “, Satabhusa’s words kept on echoing in my ears again and again; I could not give her a worthy reply…I had just passed it off with my words… “ well…. I do … some dreams take time to get fulfilled….. “ ; thank Heavens my friends called me up for something important and I could get the excuse to leave and promised to meet Satabhusa when I get time; but what was I doing ?? why was I trying to run away?? Was it for my inability to prove myself?? Was it my inability that being a senior I could do nothing?? Some questions in life simply don’t have answers; I still do remember Mamoni… the orphan at Voice Of World; she was blind and could not hear; hence could not speak; I still remember how quickly she came to my arms;I still remember her smile; I don’t know…. Sometimes even I too fail to understand my feelings… forget about the world understanding them; I don’t know from where the idea of adopting her came to my mind; but who will let me?? No one; and then again I am a simple college student and I have my family ….. and yes …. A conservative Hindu family !! the descriptions of nature given by Hellen Keller were far more beautiful and vivid than a common folk; even she was blind; even she could not hear; she did it all with other’s help; then why cant Mamoni?? Why cant she, too have a life?? Money is not the factor here…. And that ‘s the main point of difference in helping poor children and helping the blind people; I don’t know whether I am right or wrong ; its all from experience; its all about giving time and love; the world of blind people was different…… a lot different…..the universe is dark… yet it has planets, stars, comets, satellites, galaxies……. Their world is like it; we only have to feel it… we only have to feel them, understand them …otherwise beautiful unknown blossoms will get nipped in buds….. just like Mamoni …… just like other children of Voice Of World who gave such amazing performances in mimicry, playing musical instruments, singing , dancing; I don’t know why I was feeling bad for Mamoni…don’t know why unnoticed tears flooded my eyes…I have wanted to contribute something to this world…. I have always wanted to feel complete…. But this little girl….I don’t know…. Why I cared for her so much…don’t know was it the motherly affection that remains dormant in every girl that inflicted the pain in my heart… don’t know…. Why…. I felt bad…..I was staring at the sky…the dark sky seemed so far away….the deep darkness….. my eyes searched for stars….and I could feel my feet on the ground !!